Adapted from the novel by Danny Moynihan, Duncan Ward’s debut feature Boogie Woogie swaps New York for London in an attempt to lampoon the contemporary art world. The central storyline follows a Jay Jopling/Larry Gagosian inspired magnate, Art Spindle (Danny Huston) in his attempt to purchase Mondrian’s first painting Boogie Woogie from a reluctant upper-class but financially troubled married couple (Christopher Lee & Joanna Lumley). Alongside the central narrative runs a multitude, if not excess, of subplots including the plight of emerging rambunctious video artist Elaine (Jaime Winstone) and Spindle’s gallery director Beth’s (Heather Graham) endeavor into opening her own gallery, while simultaneously following minor narrative strands that acknowledge art-world stereotypes such as the ‘gallerina’ (Amanda Seyfried) and the libidinous artist (Jack Huston).

Special interest is awarded to Damien Hirst’s function as the film’s, ahem, ‘Art Curator’, a practice that extends to a nepotistic on-screen crow-barring in of predictably likely cohorts: Emin, Banksy, Lucas, Landy, Collishaw, and so on. Admittedly the look of the gallery spaces and artworks displayed adds a certain surface credibility to the aesthetics of the film as a whole. However, this illusion is dispelled somewhat by an insubstantial plot, distinct lack of laughs and at times grating characterization (Gillian Anderson’s flakey lead performance as Jean Maclestone immediately fails to inspire, and the less said about Danny Huston’s incessant guffawing the better).

Alack, not even the high-pedigree cast set against a backdrop of YBA-themed set dressing could have rescued this from its core failure: a super-substandard screenplay made all the more unbearable for the film’s unique interpretation of ‘satire’ which, although pitched as a pithy overview of the London art scene, just comes across as plain pithy. Topped off by an overall cast performance akin to a parade of theatrical ham, you are left with the hollow cinematic experience that is Boogie Woogie. Watch at your own boredom and bemusement.

EMMA BAKER